love letter from a gentle guy

Love Letter From a Gentle Guy

My Love,

You’re compassionate and, at the same time, strong enough to stand by yourself.

Let me be honest.

Your hairstyle attracted me, nothing else, at the first moment. I don’t know whether it’s my nature, I tend to like women with a gorgeous hairstyle. Your hairstyle, oh gosh, is damn good, girl.

You’re so beautiful. That’s the second thing I liked about you, even before knowing you.

I find other women hot though. After all, I’m a man, you know. But never did I find anyone as beautiful and charming as you are.

When I first tried to approach you, your friend helped you escape, like I was a stalker. I doubt that getting away from me was your idea.

I still don’t understand why you had to escape. I am not a bad guy. Maybe it’s the nature of the world we are in that propelled you to escape. Or is it an attention seeking errand?

I’m not blaming. It’s just the gravity of a situation that makes you clueless.

The next time, when I greeted you, the emotions fluttered and tightened me. Getting one more word out felt like breaking an iron chain. But, these are the unforgettable moments, you know.

I hoped you would love me back. But that did not happen, till now. You know, I’m okay with it. There is no universal law that says you should love me back.

Anyhow, If you do not have feelings for me, I will never try to be with you.

What’s the point in making the person I love to waste their time and energy, anyway?

In common, girls, you know, are afraid to speak their mind out and to do what they really want to do. And I thought you were the same. And I thought that is why you were backing off from expressing your true self.

Nah, I was wrong. You’re intelligent and strong enough to do what makes you feel right.

I wanted to have a date night with you. I wanted to know what you feel about me. But you never gave me a chance.

My world felt empty without you. I almost had my head under a train.

But that’s my past. I was lucky enough to have friends who saved me from the agony of not having you in my life.

Don’t feel bad for me. I know you would. All I want is you to be happy.

My Love, this is not just a typical love letter; but also my attempt to convey my true feelings to you. That I not only love you. But I do understand you.

In the end, nobody hates being loved, right?

Yours truly,
Mr. Gentle Guy.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and does not represent any reality.

hardwork + results

Hard Work + Results

I am often wrong about many things. I try to understand things from my experiences and beliefs. One such misconception I had is: hard work always brings results. I don’t say everybody believes that. But a lot of us do. I did, in the past.

I, however, changed my view on hard work and results. They often go hand in hand, but not every time.

I have been following the football world cup. If you are American, pardon me, its soccer world cup.

32 teams qualify for the event. And, in the end, only one team wins the world cup. All the remaining teams put a lot of effort and hard work. If they don’t win, does that mean they have not done the hard work? Absolutely not. Luck, I hate to mention it, skills and timing, all play a role, believe it or not.

What I’m saying is, hard work is only a factor, maybe a major one, but that is not the whole picture.

I have to remember that the next time when I’ve worked hard and didn’t get what I wanted, I don’t have to beat myself up.

Inspiration comes in from many directions. It’s funny at times.

Today, I watched Love, Simon―a movie about a gay teenager who struggles to reveal his sexual orientation, and someone else pulls the trigger. He doesn’t deny what he is. But, it was hard to go through the events that follow through the revelation. Anyhow, he keeps on going and finds his saddle.

And, that inspired me.

I know, happy endings do not happen all the time in real life. However, it gave me hope that if I keep trying I can beat the hurdles.

Why I needed inspiration in the first place?

I’m a freelance writer and a blockchain enthusiast. I take up projects that require me to write on cryptocurrencies and blockchain.

A day before yesterday, I ended a contract with a client. The pay was low. The same day, I had struck up a deal with a startup. The next day, however, the deal was taken back by the client.

Now, I got one client in my hand.

And, my UpWork―a freelancing platform―account was permanently suspended. The reason UpWork gave me was that I created a duplicate account. And, I was clueless as I never had two accounts created.

Till that moment, UpWork is my only gateway to find clients.

Back in days when my UpWork account was all fine, I decided to try other platforms. None of them are close to UpWork in terms of finding clients.

Now, I’m left with one client, and my magical UpWork is gone.

From two days, I was hustling to find new work. And, I’m having my darkest moments.

I gotta pay bills, and I haven’t yet figured out how to generate revenue.

Love, Simon gave me the inspiration. And, I can tell, If I can go through this hard time, I will become a better person: stronger and braver to take risks.

First Rejection

A month back I submitted a personal essay to The Sun magazine. And it didn’t go through. I was disappointed, not just because of the rejection, but I didn’t get helpful feedback. The replay was,

We’re sorry to say that this submission isn’t right for The Sun. This isn’t a reflection on your writing. The selection process is highly subjective, something of a mystery even to us. There’s no telling what we’ll fall in love with, what we’ll let get away.

Writing is hard work, and writers merit some acknowledgment. This note doesn’t speak to that need. Please know, however, that we’ve read your work and appreciate your interest in the magazine.

We wish you the best in placing your writing elsewhere.

Then I did the guesswork that populated few thoughts.

  • The story is not a good fit for the magazine
  • My writing was crappy
  • There is not enough meaning to convey
  • The piece was not edited well

And so on. I was confused, and a hundred thoughts ran through my mind; negative to positive. If I had got a reply with proper feedback, that would have helped me a lot.

The world, however, isn’t fair. Anyway, it is under no obligation to be so. Why would an editor spend time on a piece he was uninterested in? I had to move on.

This was my first rejection. Also, I had submitted a poem to the Shooter Literary magazine and another one to the Poetry Foundation. The former one, however, was well past the deadline as of now. I had no reply, and I have to take it as a no.